Just some thoughts on my little ONE YEAR OLD!! How a year flies by when you have a kid! Oh how I love this little boy. Who has taught me to love more than I ever knew that I could. One time my husband and I were talking about how the love for a child is different than the love for our spouse. And he said, “If we stop working at our relationship that love can die. But with him (meaning our son) we will just love him forever. No matter what!” and that is so true! I love my husband and I always will because I choose to every day. But I will always always love Liam. Easily. With no effort. No matter what. It is quite miraculous really. And hard to describe.
When I was pregnant, Mike bought a used rocking chair for me and fixed it up for me. I love it. I decided to take pictures of my baby in the chair each month. I have taken THOUSANDS of pictures of this boy and I have lost one His 8th month among them all… and his 2 month I never even took (I was originally going to take 1,3,6,9,12 month pictures but I couldn’t resist doing more)
Liam’s rocking first year at a glance:
1 Month old:
Liam makes me laugh every day. I love how smart he is and how he totally has his own little personality. He loves people and likes to be around them, but he is also so good at playing by himself. My mom is always pointing out how good he is at that for a first/oldest child. He must get that from me. I have always enjoyed my own company ;)He jabbers nonsense but there are some words he is very particular with to differentiate what he is saying.
Some of his favorite things:
-Food in general. He LOVES to eat.
Things he doesn’t particularly love:
-sweet things (like cake)– weird I know.
-to sleep all night
We had a low-key but fun birthday party for him and Aunt Paige was so nice to test out her new camera out and we got some fun pictures! Here are a few:
He didn’t love my cake…
But the ice cream…. yeah, he loved.
We sure love you Sir. William!
Before he would even think about proposing, my husband made sure I was ok with him going on hunting trips at least once a year with his family. I was quite ok with that. I think it is important for couples to get time doing things they love. I also think it is important to do things without each other occasionally. I’m not sure I’d be as devoted to that if he went hunting as often as some men… but how is a woman supposed to miss her man if he just wont go away!? Just kidding. Kinda. 🙂
This year my wonderful sister in law and I decided to have a girls weekend! Yay! Just as a side note…. I married a twin. Have I mentioned that before? And they are great friends. So, it is imperative to like the husband’s twin’s wife. And luckily, I don’t have to pretend to! I have a great sister in law.
So a couple weekends ago it was that time again. Hunting trip for the boys! My SIL Paige got work off and came up to my house and hung out with me and the babe all weekend! It was a blast.
Neither of us are particularly crafty (especially me) but we decided to try some. And it was actually quite fun.
The first one was a Christmas craft:
messy, messy, messy!
Then we decided to attempt a wreath. After HOURS of shopping and decision making here is what we came up with:
Not too bad for our first wreath, eh?
It was actually quite easy. And came together quite fast. All you need to start is a wire circle and some burlap! We ended up using 20 yards of (5 inch wide?) burlap for the size we bought. Which was more than we thought which meant that Paige had to make a trip to TWO wal-marts at 11:30 at night. Bless her.
My favorite part is that I can change up the letter or flowers any way that I want! Which is perfect for this non-committal woman. 🙂
We also watched a LOT of chick flicks. We had to get our fill since our husbands don’t particularly like them…
Of course we had to make treats too! Here are some ghosts (chocolate covered strawberries) we made for a Halloween party we went to.
What? You want to see what I dressed up as for the party? Ok:
Me, a football player, and my football. And that was one tired and grumpy football!
Anyway… It was a good weekend to ignore the laundry and cleaning the house etc. and to just hang out. Plus the babe loved seeing his Auntie Paige!
Aren’t they cute??
I love Fall. I love the crisp air, the food, the clothes, the colors, everything. Plus it always seems like there are so many things to look forward to during this time. I have had a lot of fun lately and have wanted to blog about it! Some of these pictures deserve a post all of their own… but since I am not the best blogger… Here is a taste of what I have enjoyed about fall so far:
SOUP! I love the comfort of soup in the cold months. Clam chowder is a favorite. I tried a new tomato soup which was yummy.
PEACHES! I don’t have any pictures of the actual peaches that I had. They went too fast. But here are a couple of the things that I did with them.
Pureed for baby food!
I also canned a ton and ate some fresh 🙂
APPLES! I love apples! I got so many delicious ones from my uncle’s trees this year. My mom and I made tons of apple sauce and dried a lot too.
The babe helped 🙂
Not to forget… more pie!
Pumpkin oreo balls (with pumpkin flavored candy covering)
Sugar cookies of course
I also tried homemade candy corn:
The warm and comfy clothes!
my favorite scarf: (my brother says it looks like an old piano runner, but that just made me like it even more)
Isn’t orange just so happy? I love being outside and seeing the colors of the leaves and crunching them under my feet.
And who doesn’t love pumpkins?
(even fake ones)
he likes to eat leaves…
Ok so maybe I just wanted an excuse to post pictures of my child… I just love that little boy of mine. But there you go. Just a few of the things that I love about Fall!
Filed under: goals
Remember that post a few months ago? On goals and satisfaction? Of course you do. What? You want to know how I am doing on my goals? Alright, I will tell you!
I’ll be honest, I didn’t quite do as well as maybe I should. But there is nothing wrong with revamping your goals and making them more realistic! I think my former self would cringe at where I am now and what I put down as a goal that will “make me stretch” At least I haven’t given up completely. Yet. 🙂
OK my first goal was ~Read my scriptures. And I am happy to report that I am doing fairly well on that one. I can still do better, but I either read or listen to at least one chapter a day from my scriptures. wahoo… I have really felt blessed even by this small effort though. It’s a place to start right?
My second goal: Exercise. I give myself a big F on this goal. One that I am still trying to figure out how best to reach. I wish I could just take it off completely but I cannot. My body nor my spirit would allow it. And honestly the latter is what really keeps me from quitting. keeping fit to look physically thin or even healthy has never been motivating enough for me. But I go crazy mentally/emotionally if I give it up. So. that is where I am. I have slowly been working back into running but it has been super discouraging. My hips and knees killed me the first few times! And to die when I run something that I could easily run before makes me just want to sit on the couch and watch Psych the rest of my life. Anyway… Wow. I sure wrote a lot for not having anything good to report on that goal. Lets just say that on the Saturday mornings that the husband doesn’t work, he has graciously taken the baby and encouraged me to run.
3. Eat 5 fruits/vegetables- I have failed miserably at keeping track of this one. I really have been trying to make everything I eat just a little bit healthier and I have been eating tons of zucchini, kale and spinach thanks to my sister’s garden…. How’s that?
Number 4. Write. on the blog, or in my journal- Did I really think I’d do this every day? Ha. But I HAVE done it once a week, mostly in mine and the baby’s journal. I also wrote a poem for a book my grandmother is writing. So, thats not horrible. I actually feel pretty (though not completely) fulfilled with those efforts. So there you go.
5. Chore around the house- This one was too ridged for my liking at this moment in my life. I do laundry more than once a week for example.
6. Quality time with the kid. This one I have kept up with! Hurray! In fact, my babe ended up needing some physical therapy after his rough entry into this world. And the exercises that I have to do with him, actually take a LOT of quality time. Good thing I love him 🙂
Ok, now on to my revamped goals. These are mainly just the ones I want to do regularly.
I split it up into some categories:
- Physical: work out DAILY so far I am mostly just going on walks with the babe. But, I’ll take it for now.
- Spiritual: Read scriptures DAILY
- Emotional: Write WEEKLY
- Social: Hang out with friend(s) WEEKLY. Side note: kinda silly that I have to make this a goal. But I feel like it is important and it usually gets pushed aside. Plus, my husband likes to be social and needs it even more than I do.
- Mental: Study spanish. I got an app on my phone called DUOLINGO and it is fabulous! It is helping me learn spanish and I actually enjoy it! Anyway my goal is to complete one lesson DAILY. It doesn’t take long.
Well there they are! One side goal I have is to go through what I am going to accomplish in a day the night before. Since obviously there are WAY more things that I have to/get to/want to do in my life than these goals, and planning for them the night before makes me way more productive.
There you have it. A boring post that mostly just benefits me. I am now going to eat a hamburger. Peace out.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I have been thinking a lot about my dad lately (‘tis the season, eh?) and I wanted to write down some of my thoughts for my baby boy and future babies.
To my babies on Father’s Day:
First of all, I want to tell you about a man I am sure you knew in a life before this and you will know even better in a life after. But in this life now you don’t know. On this Father’s day, I first want to tell you about MY father.
There are days that I mourn because you do not know him. I mourn for the advice he could give on how to raise you to be strong, happy. I mourn for lost memories of him. Memories of him seeing you for the first time. Him being able to hold you in his arms while you fall asleep. I mourn that I will not hear him say: “hands in the air” and tickle you ‘til you beg him to stop. Then, somehow get you to do it all over again. I wish he could be here to wrestle with you when you are big enough. I wish you could hold on to his shoulders while he swam under water with you. Or teach you how to do the butterfly or make you bounce way too high on the trampoline.
I wish you knew how much he loved people. Especially kids. I wish you knew how much he wanted grandchildren. I wish you knew how wise he was and how he always seemed to have a good answer. I wish you could hear his ear splitting whistle at sporting events. I wish you could have seen how hard he’d work. I wish you could have seen how hard he played. I wish you could hear how hard he laughed.
But today, I do not want to mourn. Or for you to mourn. Dad wouldn’t want that either. Today we celebrate. We will celebrate the good man he was. And celebrate that we can still feel his love and influence. We celebrate your wonderful father and grandfather that are still living. You are lucky to have such good men in your life. Men who will take you hunting. Who will teach you how to work. Men who will teach you how to love and respect others. Teach you how to really have fun and how to really serve. Men who will teach you to someday be a good father and grandfather. We will celebrate that. We will celebrate that you have a Father in Heaven that loves you more than all of us. And we will celebrate that ‘til that day when there will be no more need to mourn. And everyday will be a celebration!
Alright, I do not know why some posts are harder for me to finish than others but they just are. And this one has been a long time coming. Over a month actually! I have tried different ways of writing this but I decided to just type up what I wrote down in my journal just a few days after his birth. My little gummy bear was due February 27th but he didn’t seem to want to come on my own so I had to be induced. Here is the experience:
10 March 2013
March 6th at 6:00 am I called the hospital to see how it was looking as far as availability for my induction. They said that they were kinda busy so far and that they would call me later to get me in. So, I went back to sleep for about an hour. Then, the hubs and I woke up and decided to get ready for the day and to go out to breakfast at a new(ish) restaurant that we’d been wanting to try. It was fun to go out for the occasion. As soon as my food got to our table the hospital called. They were ready for us! So, we tried to eat our food as quickly as possible. It was delicious even though my nervousness took a tiny bit of my appetite away. …I continued to write about what we ordered and what I liked about it. I kinda like food…
We got to the hospital around 9:30 and they checked me into my room. It was a nice big room that looked out to the mountains. It was a beautiful day. It was Clear, and the sun was shining! Our nurse’s name was Tricia. And she had a girl with her who was shadowing that day. I really liked them both. They started me on some pitocin and put bands around my stomach to measure my contractions and Liam’s heart rate My contractions became regular very quickly, sitting at about 2 minutes apart. They didn’t hurt at alland they barely got me dilated to a 2. Tricia upped the pitocin so I would progress faster. I decided to take a walk. My contractions were getting stronger and I Wasn’t sure how long I would last without an epidural so I wanted to get up while I could. By then it was probably around 1:00 and I was dilated to a 3+. I decided to get the epidural. The anesthesiologist came in and I had to sit up and lean forward so he could do his thing. My husband watched and said it was pretty cool (Yeah real cool) It wasn’t the most pleasant thing in the world, but totally worth it!
They increased the pitocin and I progressed faster til I got to a 5+. Then it seemed to take FOREVER! I started getting hungry. Ice chips just didn’t cut it. Tricia left at 6:00 and said that she hope she would see me on the third floor when she came in to work the next day at 6:00 am Patients are moved to the 3rd floor after they deliver their baby. So, it got later into the night and I tried to sleep but my nurse kept coming in and making me switch sides because somehow the way that I was laying was messing with Liam’s heart rate. They eventually had to put me on oxygen and that seemed to help a little. Around this time I also developed a high fever and was put on some antibiotics. For some reason the positions that I was made to lay made my contractions worse. I was starting to feel them more. My tailbone especially was hurting. It was a long night. I was so tired and hungry and ready to be done. Finally around 4:00 am my doctor came back in to check my dilation and he said it was time to push. I was dying to push! My tailbone was hurting so bad. It really felt like such a relief to be able to push. With each contraction I would take a deep breath and hold it and I would push as hard as I could as my husband counted (so slowly!) to ten. I would do that 3 times for each contraction. It was exhausting! Around 6:00 am guess who came back? Our first nurse Tricia! So she got to start me and finish. Meanwhile… I thought I was going to die. I was way too tired. Luckily Liam’s head was pretty close but it wasn’t budging. I kept asking Mike and the nurse if it was moving at all. They said it was. I later found out that it wasn’t but that they just told me that so I wouldn’t give up. The doctor got the vacuum to suction him out. At one point the vacuum slipped off Liam’s head and pulled some of the skin off with it 😦 It looked so bad! They repositioned the vacuum and finally after 20+ hours of labor and 2+ hours of pushing my baby entered this world officially! He had a bowel movement in the womb and had ingested some of it. They put a tube down his throat to clean it all out, but he seemed to be breathing fine.
The nurses cleaned him up a bit and gave him back to me for some “skin on skin” time. I loved that. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him and he just cooed. I loved him already!
Because of my fever they had to take my baby to the NICU and do some test and make sure he didn’t have an infection also. He stayed in the NICU the whole time we were in the hospital. He was very well taken care of. We really liked the nurses there. and they LOVED Liam! They said he was always so calm and had a content spirit about him. We weren’t sure how long he was going to have to be there but in the end he got well fast enough to check out when I did! I was so happy.
So, there you have it. William Michael (or Liam) was born 7 March 2013 6:26am weighing 8lbs 13oz 21 inches long (exact same length and weight as his mommy when she was born!) And we are just so happy! I love being a mom. I don’t even know what I lived for before him! Every morning is like Christmas morning to get to wake up and see his adorable face! To be able to every day get to hold him and cuddle him and feed him and just stare at him! The first couple days I thought that I would explode with the emotions I felt about this child. The love but also the fear that anything would happen to him and anxiety over the magnitude of this calling to be a mother to him. Luckily those feelings have kinda leveled off and I now just try to enjoy this wonderful thing that I get to experience with the help of Mike and our Heavenly Father. (I am not sure I could do it without both of them)
This morning I woke up to a clean house. I guess my husband felt extra motivated before work this morning. He must love me because it was the perfect thing to wake up to! I have kinda neglected the house a little since I have family visiting and I seem to want to spend every waking moment with them! Anyway, the wee guy is asleep and I thought about taking advantage of that and writing some things that have been on my mind. (I am still in the process of writing the wee one’s birth story. That will come later) Unfortunately I am not very good at organizing my thoughts before I put them down so hopefully something in this makes sense.
I have this curse of never feeling good enough. I’d like to think it stems from a healthy desire to always be better, but somehow I let it get out of control. This is something I am constantly battling and one way that I have found helpful is to make goals. That way it gives me a focus and then instead of constantly thinking of things that I am not doing or shouldn’t be doing I can focus on good things. Positive thinking is always better.
Since recently having a baby I am trying to adjust to this life of being a mom. And in some ways it has been pretty tough for me. Mostly figuring out how to get anything done and feeling good about myself at the end of the day. There always seems to be something else I should have done. When I worked it was a lot easier to look at my day and say I accomplished something, because I earned money! But It is a lot harder to calculate the good things that I am doing when there isn’t anything physical to show for it like monetary reward. (probably a silly way for me to view life, but there you have it)
SO I decided to start small. I have really been pushing myself too much these first few weeks. So I decided to cool it a bit and give myself 6 weeks (although I now only have 3 left) to really start easy. SO I gave myself 2 goals that I need to accomplish everyday. It obviously wont take me ALL day to do these things (typically. although with a baby… sometimes it seems like it does.) So some things in my life are actually quite habitual. Like waking up at a descent time although the babe helps with that one lately 🙂 and making my bed. My next 2 goals are fairly simple I just want them to become a habit before moving on to my real long lasting (hopefully) goals. These goals are: #1. Shower daily. #2. Pray daily. Don’t get me wrong. I do, do these things. I do shower (fairly regularly) I am not disgusting. It is just a little harder with a baby to want to get ready for the day but I always feel much better when I do. And I do pray. But not as purposefully as I’d like. So, everyday for the next 3 weeks I will shower and pray. And if I do those things then I have had a successful day. Are there a million other things to get done in life? yes. And obviously I can’t get away from doing some of them like, feeding the babe and changing his diapers etc. AND if I get more things done like sweep the floor? Hurray for me! I am awesome.
Now for after my takin’ it easy 6 weeks. After my Doctor’s appointment next month and getting the go ahead to proceed with life as normal (mainly I just need his go ahead to start working out again) then I will implement these daily goals (assuming that praying and showering have already become habits, I left them off the list) And as long as I do these 6 things then I have had a successful day. And I can just cuddle my baby and watch hulu the rest of the day and not feel (too) guilty! 🙂 They are not hard.
1. Read my scriptures
3. Eat 5 fruits/vegetables
4. Write. on the blog, or in my journal
5. Chore around the house I have one specific thing each day for a chore that I have to do like, Sunday: call or write a friend, Wednesday: Laundry, Saturday: Work outside in garden or yard. -you get the idea.
6. Quality time with the kid. right now that might even just be tummy time
There you have it. I think it will work for me. This could really help my sanity. Or… this still might be too ambitious OR not ambitious enough. BUT it helps me to write it down and plan things out. I can always go back and reevaluate my goals. The real point is to not beat myself up so much. It doesn’t do me or anyone around me any favors.
This post was inspired by these posts: http://www.daringyoungmom.com/2012/12/19/drops-of-awesome/
They express what I am trying to accomplish way better than I do. But I figure I should write it down to make it official.